"I guess you're still having feelings"

as if

they were a supposition

plausibly Deniable

an allegation worth

little more than myth

insubstantial

immaterial

convenient like ghosts

they can threaten you

without being too real


or was it

"It sounds like you're still having feelings"

as if

they were a rumor

certainly UnReliable

a secondhand story

overheard over drinks

understood under no circumstances

with all the qualities of the best tavern tales

hyperbolized

hilarious

hysterical


or maybe it was

"I'm sorry you're still having feelings"

as if

you could even be

partially Responsible

an allegation worth

little more than myth

the realization of which

empathic, unlikely

would smash the glass of your fragile, flowering ego

like your voice battering my mother's

your apologies shatterng my faith in others


I heard the essence of your words

but they were insubstantial

immaterial

convenient like ghosts

they haunted my voicemail

only for as long as I believed in them

I wish they had been written on paper

so I could have set them on fire

have finally been warmed by something

other than the anger-flushed comforter

thrown over the twinging bedspring anxiety

that fed me in our cold, love-starved home


how can I try to explain

I can't because

it's not time to make a change

it never was


Anyway, Harry's here,

and Cat's in the cradle,

and we're late for tea with the tillerman

so


-x2A